#Something I need to improve on too
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Remember: The burning sensation is part of the process.
#Mouthwashing#blood#body horror#Emphasizing here that this is in reference to a media and character and not a cry for help on my end.#Mouthwashing is one of those games that tickles my brain and checks all the boxes for my niche interests -#-but it wasn't something that got the silly comic part in my cortex firing up. My analysis brain is eating well though!#What said...It is impossible for me to see this scene and not say out loud: “Me in the middle of my work day".#While there is a lot more going on with curly I personally resonated a lot with his struggles with burnout.#Burnout feels like mouthwash to me. That you keep rinsing out your mouth trying to get rid of the rotting smell#but it's just surface level solutions. The real cure requires something far more significant to actually make a difference.#The job 'is hard' and 'everyone struggles'. It's part of the process right? You're tired? Anxious? Depressed? Us too! Chin up!#Actually I resonated with a lot of things within Curly (this is a curly positive space - he's not perfect. He's just human).#One thing being his desire to see the good in people and believe in their potential.#Because here's the thing. Some people truly do just need someone in their corner who stands by them so they can grow and improve.#And some people will take advantage of your kindness. You focus so much on their humanity while you stop being a person to them.#The horrifically toxic relationship persists because Curly tries to see the bigger picture and believes in the good within.#Anyone who has lived through constantly trying to reframe the hurt as something else knows-#-just how many excuses your brain will make to avoid cognitive dissonance. It's human psychology.#Jimmy sucks so bad. But we the audience have the privilege of not having years of baggage associating him in our minds as 'friend'.
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Inktober Day 25 - Alpha Gaming
Today I thought I'd go ahead and hunt down that new hedgehog game everyone’s so excited about, since I had a target giftcard and it's been a hot sec since I played one of these - was fully planning to hop on that cool winged shadow trend for the inktober to commemorate my success, but that changed 15 seconds into the first stage when I remembered I actually suck shit at sonic games 👍
#inktober#inktober2024#my art#doodles#shadow#shadow the hedgehog#sonic#sxsg#sonic x shadow generations#my experience can best be summarized by the first 30 seconds of playing the game#where I used chaos control for the first time and Immediately shot off the side of the stage and died#I have despite all odds gotten past the first boss#but I am well acquainted by this point with the entirety of kirk thorton's professional dying discography#shadow I think you're very cool and I'm very sorry that I'm going to make you look like an Utter fool for the entire run of the game#in fairness his stages seem way easier than the single sonic one I tried hA#i just can't fucking see where sonic is half the time in the 2d sections#maybe I need to get my eyes checked or something idk#the hogs are just moving too fast for me smh#it is nice to play one of these again though it has been a While#for reference the one and only other sonic game I played was unleashed lol#back in uhhhh#2008????#god#well glad to know my gaming hasn't improved much since then lmao
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I think that Orym actually does doubt Imogen, but this isn't a thing that is unique to Imogen. Orym doubts all of them to an extent, because paranoia is something he struggles with (and this is continuously reinforced by the story).
It's not a 'good' thing that he should never get over, nor is it an immoral character flaw that proves he actually hates Imogen. However it's also not something I think he can get over as long as the threat of having to possibly fight his friends exists.
"I have all the faith in the world in you guys, all of you. And I have also spent time thinking how to neutralize each of you."
#cr discourse#critical role#cr3#orym#text post#people talk about orym being hypervigilant and then deny his behaviour created out of that hypervigilance#but also see people being weird about orym due to this. you can dislike him all you want but some people are doing too much#“he hates imogen! she has given him no reason to doubt her! she is good” guys its literally just paranoia#he doesn't need a reason to doubt her nor any of them. he just does due to their uncertainty about everything#this group is impulsive. shown by their 'we are an improv group' response to the question 'whats your plan to stop the end of the world'#this is all in line with oryms usual level of slightly paranoid behaviour which is exasperated and justified by the story#he followed fearne away from camp when she wanted to do something on her own but then she was jumped and nearly killed#that paranoia was proven correct#again the next night when he slept with a sword on his back after fearnes dad threatened to come back and attack her friends#and he was attacked in his sleep (by laudna but at the time he didnt know that)#then imogen told the whole group that she and laudna considered giving into the darkness together#something that both ladies then expressed they wanted orym to take them out if they went too far#this is just a result of all of this#so i think this is a non-issue. if you like it great. if you dont then whatever#just this time it rubbed people the wrong way because of irl hang ups of people valuing their own personal privacy#the same way any kind of mind stuff 'modify memory' or psychic reading of minds without permission rubs me personally the wrong way
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I've been working on a pretty long comic (~20 pages) for Robin for a few days now, and after drawing the same page for the 7th time, I realized one thing:
My drawing skills have deteriorated
This is bad, very bad, for me at least. I suspect it's because, first, I've been too stressed for some time now and second, I've been focused on fast drawing (to answer ask, just sketches to capture ideas,...) for the past months without actually honing my color and render skill.
So here's the plan: I'm sorry to say this but I need to take a break from drawing fast. And by that, I mean actually stopping myself from wanting to answer every asks with a drawing :) I swear it has become a habit, my ask box is full of short-content temptations. I may not be able to post daily anymore for some time, but I hope every time I do, I can bring up something I can look back and be proud of.
This is something do to with an artist's self-esteem. I want to create something with more skill for the next months, and then after that or some time between, if I need to take some light and carefree break, I will switch back to fast sketches :D
Of course, I will still draw DoL. I love this game and my PCs. So if that's okay with you, hope you can stay and watch me grow a little more. I'm grateful for everyone's encouragement and I will never stop feeling that way.
Thanks for reading~ I should take my much-needed rest now UwU
#dol pc#dollya art#robin the orphan#dol robin#dol#degrees of lewdity#I guess this is a very deep slump and I'm trying to get through with it as best as I can#I just need time#peer pressure is something too horrible for me too#and yet it is what it is#better improve myself if I don't want to be throw out#Lya the Blossom
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fairest of the fair
#hi! im alive and back and etc.#six the musical#six the musical fanart#katherine howard#thinking of that post going 'i think eventually you become the person you needed most' and like maybe that's the thing with my art#this started out as a redraw and <improvement meme> i think i've finally reached the stage where i'm making the things that my younger self#aspired to create. like i can do this now! i've reached That level of technical skill! tiny me would be so proud. it's very gratifying#redraw from august this year actually. i've made a surprising amount of improvement HAHA maybe it was the adamandi stuff getting me#back into digital rendering. i think that obsession has quietly slipped away but yknow. one never truly leaves a fandom. just less intensit#also speaking of old fandoms! we're back with the six stuff haha. as of writing i'm in the midst of blog revamp- figuring out how to chill#multifandom status doesn't mean ditch all the old stuff ! but i do feel much freer and less stressed. i think hiatus has been good for me#notes on this piece particularly: redraw about cutting hair and thinking of the lyric above. also lowkey &j ref + pinterest poem excerpts#of female suffering. and maybe a dash of amanda heng let's walk inspo. this work is really just full of contradictions..#1. the mirror and cutting hair as an act of self liberation 2. the & is part of the lyric but also a nod to &j (in another iteration it was#pink but the white looked better) and like. &j is really all !!! girl power!!! etc. and i was like hmmmm. also matching pink shiny aes#3. the frame as a cage; the mirror as a self reflection idea (ie. saville's propped insp) but also as a sign of vanity. 4. sparkly costume#and pretty pose- read one too many poems about women feeling like they have to be pretty even in their suffering. something i wanted to#explore. and also in 5. the show itself... all you wanna do is. despite all the dancing and pink and sparkly the content of the song is#darker. and even though it's a story of her suffering it's still presented as a shiny fun pop song and ajshdhfhfh ok... 6. the lyrics fall#outside the frame. sort of a caught inbetween. sort of a trapped in the narrative and yet#within the frame it's all. vaguely handwavy breaking free vibes. like i said contradictions?#7. cutting off the long ponytail vs the pull my hair lyric at the end. yeah#8. the blocked off & looks a bit like scissors. positioned to cut right at the neck#anyways yeah irl remains hectic! but if i get around to more doodles they'll appear here :)
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Inspired by this fanfic
I really like this story 👍👍👍🥰 I love Senti angst and this made my heart happy.
#tfa sentinel prime#hes holding the magnus hammer on god i swear. i just had to keep cropping because the composition looked off#i tried really hard#truly. with my whole heart#i wanted to draw something to show to the author(s) how much the story means#im not a wordsmith and this is all i have lolololol#macaddam#transformers animated#my art will improve and i will try again i promise#guys you see the spider? see how the shadow only darkens in the light? thats cuz its a shadow!!! you know like in the story [spoilers]#i need to walk away before i get too excited and spoil the entire story in the tags
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Chat
How to
Lock in?
#shitpost#dd talks#I’m gonna ramble in the tags because I’m too afraid arughghg#but do y’all remember that chara parody animation of stronger than you#yeah the person remade it and it is amazinggg srsly go watch it#but it gave me that feeling that every great animation does which is insecurity#augahegdhjshej i wanna be good I really go but I just can’t be on the grind#I don’t know how to improve other than- keep doing it :\#I also feel like the fact that I’m always alone when I wanna do my personal work#isn’t really awesome- it’s that thing where you need to be around other people to work#but I don’t have a lot of animation friends#or undertale friends that I could chat or vc often enough with to be productive#I JUST WANNA LOCK IN AND BE GOOD#I WANNA MAKE SOMETHING BE ABLE TO LOOK BACK AND NOT SEE MISTAKES FOR ONCEEEEE#yeah yeah i get that seeing said mistakes means i am improving but tbh#it feels more like I only see them because I can get so lazy with animation- I get passionate during the planning stage and my motivation#plummets#this is turning into a vent#anyways y’all should watch it#the remade animation I mean
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please can we have more jimmy and impulse.
collabs, streams, heck even a life series team
i just really really want to call them jimpulse
#fdgnjmg#please#i need the punnage in my life#i also think.. jimmys quite similar to skizz?#(so they'd probably get along sorry forgot to finish that thought)#but at the same time#his humour is different#so when hes with people who hes newer to it seems almost like he's..#i dont want to say trying too hard but his humour sometimes doesn't have a place with them? or doesn't hit as well? or something?#and impulse can be like that too sometimes?#cause hes always trying to get better at improv-ing interactions#and hes always changing stuff to improve be it tech or editing#so i think...#idk they both put a lot of effort in and sometimes depending on what group they're in it isn't fully appreciated?#that got a little bit analyzy#tldr: i like them and think they need to work together more often#jimmy solidarity#impulsesv#jimpulse#<leaving it right there#its a good pun#guess the build#build and seek#life series#pixls things
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No go on please (Patreon)
#Doodles#Pokemon#Larry#Kabu#Firebland#Silverstreakshipping#Can't listen - the cuteness must be observed with 100% focus#Only does this like a dozen times before getting himself under Slightly better control lol#Kabu's the cutes who can blame him for being a bit smitten every once in a while#I'm decently pleased with how he turned out here as well :) Both of them really!#Finally starting to get a handle on Kabu's shirt#Details details details#Oh and an offhand of calling Larry as Aoki instead just to see how I feel about it - he suits both! I like Kabu's choice of honourific hehe#Both of theirs! The way it reflects their ages and how they feel about each other ♪ Expectations and respect and ahh#It's nice#What is Kabu talking about? Training? Obviously something Larry only kind of cares about or else he'd be actively listening lol#Has his own subjects that get him fired up! Just not this one lol more fun to just watch him <3#It's fun because Kabu's having fun ♪#It's only fair! Kabu listens to him talk excitedly about the things he likes - share that stage and enjoy the enthusiasm#Passion can be very enticing hehe#Sighed just a little too wistfully - sounded like boredom but no! Enjoying himself in a way Kabu didn't quite intend lol#Followup questions are very important just too distracted haha#Just needs more practice is all hehe surely he'll improve if he keeps at it he's a great study#Kabu's tutelage would deliver impressive results for sure! Hehe#Gotta learn how to spoil him properly ♪
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#gotta genuinely and for real start trying to improve my clothed fullbodies this yr.#gotta bring al back out too ill die if i have to only draw dis plank [said lovingly]#a doodley#i have to grapple with like Just Bc Something Is Covered By Clothes Doesn't Mean it Doesn't Exist Under Em#and fully map out character clothing prefs instead of painting clothes on bodiessss 😞 pain!#i think talon wld wear a variety of tops and layers (bc he's always cold) but he obvs needs looooose or baggyyy pantsss
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the challenge of wanting an extra name (need a second middle name) and being the kind of nerd who would name yourself after fictional characters but also being exclusively weird about deeply awful characters whom nobody in their right mind would name themselves after ... devastating
#i want a welsh middle name for Family Heritage Reasons#the search is not going well#the criteria: can't begin with certain letters (L or M in particular)#needs to have one or two syllables (3 is too many and unbalances my name)#and ideally not a character who did like. war crimes or something#gender wise should be neutral-to-masc#i have one feminine name already so want to counterbalance it!#pearsanta#(i need a second middle name because my initials are unfortunate and i wanna improve them)
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You learned japanese? (asking from the tags on the language poll)
I started studying it back in middle school! I’m not quite as good as I should be with this many years of experience (=inept) but it’s a lot of fun to learn and practice!
#cactus-genome#thanks for the ask!#Got to do it throughout high school and a little in undergrad#Now just trying to maintain/improve it lol#I need to commit to actually watching something without subtitles#I think that would definitely help with the listening#But reading isn’t bad#As long as there isn’t too much kanji I don’t know#in which case it’s like half the text has been redacted 🙈
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A builder who totally understands where X is coming from, collecting all those shinies for Coco, because she also likes shiny things, and has been secretly leaving pretty rocks on Unsuur's porch for weeks now.
#my time#my time at sandrock#sandrock#X#X and Fang#Unsuur#Builder#each of my builders I HC to be a little bit different#Rave loves dancing and is a total extravert - she may be book smart; but doesn't tend to act like it#Zurika likes shiny things and wants to fight. She's not angry; she just really wants to fight.#Sparring; monster fighting; whatever lets her improve those skills.#Rave learned to fight because it became important to know how in Sandrock.#She enjoys sparring now; and takes pride in the skill; but it didn't start that way for Rave.#Zurika learned how to fight because her parents weren't there to stop her anymore#Zurika is a good sport; just as happy to lose a fight as to win one; as long as she can learn something from it#Rave likes relics and books. Zurika likes sparklies and daggers.#Zurika and Rave both like parkour though. Parkour; and Going Fast 🏃♀️🏃♀️#Zurika is plenty smart too - she just doesn't like books that much. She likes listening to stories or lectures; or watching old videos.#Rave has books and diagrams to look back on as needed; and does write some notes. Zurika just Remembers. Everything.#Sidenote; I really like X.#X is awesome 👌 Solid bro; silly little guy; I love the bird. Take some glass; my man. Have a scorpion on the house.#Love his cute relationship with Coco. 'X is on a date' is one of my favorite dialog options of all time. It sent me to outer space.#Unsuur caught me off guard with paint drying. I hadn't really noticed him much before that;#but that was the moment I realized he was gonna be a favorite of mine#Unsuur is the funniest guy in Sandrock; hands down. You just gotta give him a chance; you wouldn't expect it off first impressions.#Ily my dude; keep it weird#I will also be keeping it weird.#mtas#fandom#rambles
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Work - Coming May 31
#ateez#atz#hongjoong#seonghwa#yunho#yeosang#san#mingi#wooyoung#jongho#ateezedit#*gfx#something that i made for fun#i know it could be better but my skills need improvement 😅#sometimes i'm way too ambitious#i wanted to make something too for the other songs in the tracklist but my brain is all mushed#so yeah
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I wrote 1400 words today in 3 hours, which is absolutely nuts for me (usually I write in like 1, max 2 hour sessions, and get like 200-500 done on days that I write). I'm tempted to write more, but I'm just about to finish the first big scene of the chapter and if I leave that for myself tomorrow that gives me a really easy starting point to get into a good flow again.
My chapters are usually about 6k-7k on average. I warned y'all in advance that I expected this to be the longest chapter in the entire fic, because this (and ch 16+17) are going to be the most character development-heavy, climactic parts of the narrative. And since I'm want to make this chapter in particular hit like a motherfucker, I am being very generous about not rushing the pacing here. So far Chapter 15 is 4500 words, and my god do I want to write more of it right now, but I know damn well that overall writing more consistently in shorter sessions gives me much better results so I'm going to let my creative batteries recharge.
Normally, I don't make my writing any longer than it needs to be, because I am able to take the events of what could be a 15k chapter and make it just as effective in, say, 5-7k, and it's taken a lot of skill development to be able to do that successfully and without much difficulty. However, (I hope) I have enough practice with the "rules/standards" of "good writing" that I'm experimenting with breaking that particular convention intentionally.
Which is... not usually what my readers expect from my updates lmao. So I'm giving y'all a warning in advance:
I'm gonna estimate that this chapter's gonna be 13k-15k. Probably 12k at the absolute minimum. Will it actually take too much longer than a regular chapter? Probably not a whole lot because I'm in the creative-energy-overflow stage of chapter writing that gets me so in the zone that I've powered through half the chapter in a week before I know it.
#hannah's rambles#“I wrote a long letter because I didn't have time to write a short one” etc etc but ALSO#this time I'm making it long on purpose.#Am I too persistent about maintaining “good writing form” even though it's fanfic and I write it for fun?#Yeah probably but I reserve that attitude for my own writing and literally nobody else's#break “good writing form” on purpose!! do it on accident!! who cares it's fanfic and you're doing it for fun#I don't need the fanfics I enjoy reading to be published novel quality and we shouldn't expect that from others/hold anyone to that standar#like. even typos are fine imo. something something imperfection making it so distinctly human and relatable and a product of passion#I just want to give FULL DISCLOSURE that I am only taking this attitude about my own creations jkdghdks#not in an “everyone else's not 100% perfect creations are enjoyable but me” sense#but in an “I am setting ridiculously high goals that I probably won't completely meet which is ok bc this is how i improve best” sort of wa#ANYWAY tags became an actual ramble but yeah lol
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The "average" person on facebook is so scary lol.. I’ve just seen someone post a status earnestly being like “whew thank god, SO happy to see there are armed security in front of my local Target store now! finally all those nasty thieves can be dealt with! <3” with nothing but complete agreement in the comments, plus people wishing anyone who shoplifts gets shot like "hopefully they're actually allowed to use their guns LOL! ;)" and that getting positive likes and reactions... ??? The whole attitude of "Oh noooo! :( Not someone taking like $40 of stuff from target! :( This is definitely not part of a larger systemic problem and could clearly all be solved if only I were just able to watch them be violently assaulted, which I am REALLY looking forward to because I am very normal and healthy :) God I wish so desperately that I could watch a poor person get gunned down in front of me, I dream everyday about seeing other human beings maimed!! Which again, is a completely normal healthy thing to wish for! :) Thank god I'm not some immoral thieving barbarian! And thank god for Target! :) <3" and that it's normalized enough that nobody in all the hundred comments finds it bizarre at all like.. hewwo..
#not even snooping on a conservative page. it's just like.. seemingly a bunch of average suburban ''normies'' or something#and then people being like 'there's always armed security inside when I'M shopping if you know what i mean'#like awesome.. cool.. love that there's trigger happy freaks running around eager to be the World Police ready to attack other#people for the horrible crime of a billion dollar corporation losing like $50 of merchandise. this is fine and good and cool and safe#It's just insane how so many people are so fervent about ''justice'' but the justice they talk so much about is not even#any form of real or reasonable justice that actually makes longterm systemic change to improve the conditons of the world in a way that#matters. their ideas of ''justice'' begin and end at like.. beating the shit out of homeless people and having folks with guns outside#of the walmart and talking about how protesters should get hit by cars. hmmmmm... i wonder why? so strange#that it's always punching down instead of punching up. I wonder who benefits from those being popular notions..?#which obv SOME rules r good. ppl shouldnt act wild in stores & harass workers &etc. but also like... ppl do NOT deserve get shot over bread#my first thought was 'oh no.. that would be horrifying' because I hate being around people with guns lol#I don't care if they're a ''good guy'' or just there to protect me or whatyever#i literally do not trust anyone. it could be my best friend of 65 years or my parent who raised me from birth#or something and i would NEVER want them around me with a gun. no matter what#it's just way too overpowered. all it takes is one 10 second lapse in judgment or something and they could kill me instantly#'but they have no reason to!' I KNOW! but people do stuff they have no reason to do all the time. who knows. i cant predict whats going on#in everyone's head all the time. all you can do is make assumptions. but those are never 100%. hence why I could never ever truly fully#trust another person in any capacity lol. so I definitely don't want anyone around me to just openly have the Instant Killing Device#I think it's kind of like nuclear weapons. people only really need to have gund because other people have guns so it's like mutually assur#ed destruction. so I can see the practical reasoning for them given that they already exist (like leftists being armed so they can defend#properly against alt right intimidation armed counter protests and etc. etc. ) BUT - I still think it would be vastly better if they had#just never been invented at all. ANYWAY. it's just weird to me how easily people will accept increasingly violent modes of being all for#the sake of 'protection against the evil criminals!' when in reality MOST of the stuff going on doesnt pose a threat directly to them#and that misses the point anyway. poeple supporting increased surveillance and weapons presence and etc. like it's just totally fine and#good and could NEVER be used against THEM one day bc OBVIOUSLY they're the Good Ones#further endangering yourself in a quest for Easy Solutions. simpler to just put men with guns all over the elementary school than deal with#the deeper culture that breeds mass shooters and pass better gun control. better to have men with guns at the target than adress economic#inequality in a meaningful way. it'll be fine. it's FINE. we're the Good ones. it'll never come back to bite us in the ass. i prommy#gun violence tw#death mention
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